Fierce Bob

Well, Dear Reader, we have done it again. FierceBob.com has gotten a real scoop this time. We have just received copies the secret plans for the George W. Bush Presidentical Liberry. We can assure you that it’s going to be a humdinger, as Presidentical Liberries go. Because Bush really hasn’t written anything during his tenure as President, unless you count all those signing statements, the Liberry will contain only one book – The Pet Goat, by Siegfried Engelmann and Elaine C. Bruner. It will, nonetheless, be quite an impressive building. Evidently, the Bush Liberry will be built to withstand a direct nukular attack, and thus ensure that the Bush legacy will be preserved.

And speaking of gas, I heard something interesting on NPR today. Discussing the auto industry bailout, and the terms thereof, one industry expert (whose name I didn’t catch) complained about the concept of forcing the automakers to create all-hybrid fleets, while also expecting them to return to profitability. The man said that Americans would never pay the necessary premium to buy hybrid cars when gas is two bucks a gallon.

That sounds like a reasonable point, until one remembers that it was only a few months ago that a gallon of gas was going for nearly five bucks in many parts of the country. Are we all dense enough to once again fall into the trap of believing that low gas prices are here to stay?

Now, there is a valid argument to be made that the government should not tell the automakers how to achieve gas mileage improvements – but instead simply require the improvements and let those who know best figure out how to get there. Of course, the benefits of hybrid cars don’t end with high gas mileage. They also pollute less for each gallon of fuel burned, because their tiny engines are always operating in their most efficient ranges. People tend to forget that.

I will look forward to seeing what kinds of cars American companies are building five or ten years from now. They ought to be good for a few laughs, at least.

The question that has been burning in my mind, lo these many weeks since November 4th, is what can I, Fierce Bob, write about now that the long campaign is over. (Is it really only two weeks? Seems longer.) It’s not as if I have no other interests. Undoubtedly my reader would feast on my thoughts on the Northern Hairy Nosed Wombat, for example. But for some reason, nothing has been coming to me.

Obviously, the world of politics remains active. There are huge, badly run corporations to be bailed out, and arguments about whether to just let them go rot, instead. There’s talk of Hillary Clinton being named Secretary of State. (Why is it that women always have to be secretaries, by the way?)

One could blog at length about these things, if one were so inclined. At some point, one might. To me, right now, the discussion of these topics appears to be akin to trying to decide on what kind of trim would best suit the handbasket we’re all going to Hell in.

So for now, I am going to keep thinking, trying to come up with something interesting to write about. We’ll see if anything comes of that.

In all the years I have been publishing this blog, since the late fifties, I have never been more amazed and humbled by current events. Even the most cynical, jaded, and chronically depressed person I know, who bet me a dinner at the restaurant of my choice that Obama wouldn’t be “allowed” to win, confessed to me today that he is actually feeling hopeful.

Among a lot of other feelings, I’m deeply relieved that the election didn’t hinge on one state. Lawsuits have been filed by Republicans in Ohio and by Democrats in Virginia, but their outcomes don’t matter.

I find I don’t have anything funny to say, nor indeed anything to say that won’t be said by a million other writers. And for once, I’m going to let that stop me.

OK, well I do have just one thing: The peeps have spoken!

Or as they say in Swedish, “Äntligen!” At long last, the day is at hand. Election Day is tomorrow. I was thinking about that, reading last minute polls and predictions by pundits, when I suddenly realized that I hadn’t posted anything on this site for nearly two weeks. “Good grief,” I thought, “I’m letting my reader down.” I do notice that there has been no deluge of e-mail asking if I was OK, but I’m not going to take that personally. Toiling in obscurity, without recognition or even notice, has become second nature to me.

The thing is, though, that I’ve been suffering from Campaign Fatigue. Yes, even Fierce Bob’s obsessions have their limits. And I know I’m not the only one. I’ll be so happy to see the end of the Two Hundred Years Campaign that I don’t even mind the fact that many of my T-Shirts will become obsolete on Wednesday. (I suppose “Maverick, Shmaverick” might find a market again in 2012, depending on whether or not what’s-her-name decides to take a shot at the big prize that year. Even “Field dress this” could stage a comeback.)

So let me say only this, Dear Reader. We will soon have other things to talk about. Love, life, music, art, and wildlife. Pottery. Who knows? But I have no illusions about being able to completely ignore the topic of politics just because the election will soon be over.

I’m resting up for the inevitable backlash, demands for recounts, and accusations of widespread voter fraud that will undoubtedly follow tomorrow’s voting. I’m sure some fool or fools will say something to get me riled up again.

Until then, I remain, your anonymous friend, Fierce Bob. And yes, I am still refusing to release my birth certificate.

Don’t forget to vote.